how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
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