He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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