This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
