dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
