I'm laying in your front yard are you home
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
