Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
