She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
