erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
