didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
