Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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