Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
