the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
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