HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
