we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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