i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Randomize
