just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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