Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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