we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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