we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Randomize
