Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
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