Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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