your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize