Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
