you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Randomize