I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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