You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
