Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
