I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
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