Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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