Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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