i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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