I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Sext me about skeletons
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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