I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
