If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
