thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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