somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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