Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
