They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
