She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
i was born a porn star she said
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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