Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
