I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize