So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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