You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
