when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
