I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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