So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
