so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
third nipple confirmed
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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