OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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