escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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