I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
