I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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