id be glad to
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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