forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
