Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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