Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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