If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
