The beer is more important than you right now.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
