Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
