Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
