look no pants
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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