listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
