So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
Randomize
